Dear Abby: My gaslighting husband said the police came to our house because of what I did

DEAR ABBY I have been married to my husband for nearly years and lived with him for three years before marrying him How do you deal with a narcissistic husband Related Articles Dear Abby I feel crazy for even thinking what I m thinking about my husband and my brother Dear Abby My friend disclosed there was no wedding date Then I uncovered her website Dear Abby I got this new shirt and now women won t leave me alone Dear Abby Their kids and the baby are ruining our bar time Dear Abby I realized what s triggering my migraines and now I have a new issue I am tired of the manipulation the fights he has caused and then made to look like I was to blame The worst part is how he has punished me He often gives me the silent medication not for a day or two but for weeks sometimes months He comes from an abusive upbringing and even though I have tried to show him what he s doing is wrong I can t seem to get through to him I mentioned therapy once and he responded with a big fat no The last episode was when he sent me a text message claiming I notified one of my friends how abusive he is to me and that the police were at our home inquiring about the situation My friends know we have fights but abuse has never been mentioned I contacted the police and of subject there had never been a police officer at our home the day before I am so mad at him that I haven t spoken to him in more than two months I have no idea what to do I hope you can help SILENT NO MORE IN CANADA DEAR SILENT NO MORE Your husband is more than narcissistic he is also emotionally abusive and sadistic That you have tolerated his behavior for years assuming that it didn t start until after your marriage is shocking The help you need is as close as the office of a licensed marriage and family therapist not for him but for you Consult one and you will learn how dysfunctional your husband is and hopefully find the courage to leave and live the life you deserve DEAR ABBY A very dear longtime friend I ll call Lois lives a limited hours from us in her vacation home We used to visit and sometimes spend the night there but her house smells awful The smell has worsened over time We never spend the night there now and our visits are shorter Lois has invariably owned one or more indoor dogs She lets them outside to go to the bathroom and they also have access to a special room where they can do their business but they go everywhere Her ability to clean up after them has diminished For years we have avoided telling her why we have shortened our visits Related Articles Dear Abby I feel crazy for even thinking what I m thinking about my husband and my brother Dear Abby My friend mentioned there was no wedding date Then I revealed her website Dear Abby I got this new shirt and now women won t leave me alone Dear Abby Their kids and the baby are ruining our bar time Dear Abby I realized what s triggering my migraines and now I have a new issue Her husband died not long ago and we should be helping but we feel unwell being there If you think we should tell her how should we do it We don t want to hurt or embarrass her LOST FOR WORDS IN THE SOUTH DEAR LOST If Lois asks why you no longer visit the way you used to tell her the truth Explain that you care about her but the odor which she s likely so used to that she doesn t notice makes you and your husband feel unwell Suggest that allowing her dogs to use her house as a bathroom may not be healthy for her either and offer to help her find a cleaning crew to get the place back in order Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA