Harriette Cole: My co-workers don’t know this secret about our horrible boss

DEAR HARRIETTE I hate my new manager She s new to the company and it is clear to everyone that her priority is asserting dominance and making sure her voice is heard and her name is known Related Articles Harriette Cole We re supposed to return to the office and that s a obstacle for me Harriette Cole Is it time to file a complaint about the neighbors or will that make it worse Harriette Cole She thinks her kids are so much better than mine Harriette Cole I solicited my boyfriend where he was going with no shirt on Harriette Cole I want to make the bulk of my summer abroad Do I need to warn my boyfriend Plot twist She s my cousin When my cousin questioned me to introduce her to the higher-ups at my job for a referral I was elated She has a stellar r sum and for specific reason I thought that meant she had great rapport in the workplace I was wrong She surprised me in so countless means The catch is no one at work knows that we are family just that I suggested her as a top candidate so now other unit members complain to me about her misplaced intentions I feel awkward being in the middle but I know they re not wrong She s really not a unit contestant and doesn t hide that she likes to climb the corporate ladder Is it my place to try to reason with her or should I let her arrogance teach her a lesson the hard way Family at Work DEAR FAMILY AT WORK Companies frown upon employees recommending family or even close friends for work opportunities because it creates a conflict of interest That s what you are experiencing right now You must take careful strategies as she is your manager as well You may want to pull her aside and ask her how things are going Find out what her thoughts are Then recommend that she step back and notice the practices at your office and how people interact Tell her you have noticed that particular things she does rub people the wrong way Tell her what you know about how the club functions optimally and then let it go DEAR HARRIETTE I in recent weeks took a long international flight and had an uncomfortable experience with the person sitting next to me He kept spreading his legs into my space and hogging the shared armrest with no regard for how cramped I was getting I tried to be polite but after a couple of hours of quietly shifting around and hoping he d get the hint I eventually solicited him if he could please move his leg because it was clearly traveling into my seat area Instead of apologizing or adjusting he looked at me and mentioned Well I m tall and you re short so I should be allowed to take a little more space I was stunned I didn t want to escalate things mid-flight so I stayed quiet but I spent the next several hours feeling tense and frustrated in my already-tight seat Related Articles Dear Abby I realized what s triggering my migraines and now I have a new concern Asking Eric I m not allowed to speak the name of my son s ex even to her kids Harriette Cole We re supposed to return to the office and that s a predicament for me Miss Manners Is there a way to discourage this man s witticism at my expense Dear Abby I was trying to focus on my chores and my wife blew up at me Looking back I wish I had handled it differently but I also didn t want to be labeled as intricate Should I have pushed back more or called a flight attendant over to help What s the best way to stand up for yourself in these awkward confined spaces without creating a scene or putting yourself at pitfall Boundaries DEAR BOUNDARIES You should have spoken privately to the flight attendant first asking if you could be moved to another seat given this rider s behavior If not the attendant would then speak to the visitor and ask him to be more respectful of your space Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO